PinnedA Single Woman’s SpaceSometimes there is too much, and sometimes too little — “I wanted to reach out, but I’m also trying to give you space. I want to respect your needs.” I read the text over and over. I don’t understand. We haven’t really spoken in months. Not since the “last” talk. He has hardly said a word to me since then. …Relationships6 min read
11 hours agoThe Ultimate Birthday Lesson for This Middle Aged WomanAnd one I still haven’t quite learned… — Yesterday, I wrote my annual birthday review. It happens every July 1st, as I say goodbye to the previous year. It’s a tradition that feels very important to me. About halfway into it, I started feeling uncomfortable. It was…heavy. Dark. Filled with pain. In my defense, 45 was a hard…Self7 min read
2 days agoIf You’re Not a Mother, You’re Not Welcome at Our RetreatHow pronatalism is redefining female support systems and self-care — Mom Retreat. Two words I’m suddenly seeing everywhere. I notice people advertising mountain or tropical getaways where you can get in touch with your inner wild woman, reclaim your creativity, and have a moment of stillness and inspiration. Once I click on the links, though, the word “MOM” stands out…Childlessness8 min read
5 days agoIs “No” Just an Opening Bid in a New Relationship?Everything is a potential “yes” from here… — “I’m not ready to start a new relationship,” I said. I reminded him that when he proposed that we begin a sexual exploration together, it was only three days after my ex had sent me an email explaining that he had withheld information from me in order to get what…Relationships5 min read
Jun 22All the Questions About Penises I Never Got to AskIt’s not always welcome to open these conversations in the bedroom — I need to ask something that I’m probably not supposed to ask. I can’t help myself. I’ve remained in the dark for almost 46 years now. Surely I’ve waited long enough? Bit my tongue for the appropriate amount of years? Okay, brace yourselves, because here it comes. Why are men…Sexuality6 min read
Published in Pollinate Magazine·Jun 20The Breakup RitualAgain and again, we meet here — Do you remember the night we talked on the phone and you read me poetry? That is one of my favorite memories of our time together. No man had ever read poetry to me before. You looked up my favorite poem on your phone, written by the man we both…Pollinate Magazine7 min read
Jun 17Is Erectile Dysfunction Actually a Dysfunction?Or are we being a little too hard on the penis? — Erectile dysfunction: two little words that sound like they belong in a horror movie. Two little words no one wants to hear. Two little words that… Okay, okay, I’m joking here. I had to lead with the exaggerated gravity of this issue because I’m going to take you on a…Men7 min read
Jun 15Are We Using Our Identity to Connect — or Control?What would happen if we loosened our attachment to our labels? — When I was 32 years old, I finally took the leap into social media. I signed in to MySpace and began setting up my page. It felt like a weird thing to do — not very many of my friends were on social media at the time — but there…Identity6 min read
Jun 13Am I Worthless?It’s inevitable that we must face this question…one of our worst fears — Am I less of a human than you? Do I deserve less love? Am I less worthy? It must be so, I think. You just left, after all. Seven years of love. Seven years of caretaking. Seven years of fights and forgiveness. Seven years of sex. Seven years of heavy…Self Awareness6 min read
Jun 9I Don’t Want a Good Lover — I Want a Good LoveAs it turns out, these things don’t always go together — I was 44 years old by the time I had good sex. I’ve been fortunate that I mostly was able to make it good, even if I didn’t have a lover who cared whether or not it was good for more than just him. But until I was 44, I…Love6 min read
