PinnedMember-onlyThe Real Problem When 46-Year-Old Women Are Crying in Their CarsAnd it isn’t because we’re single — Last month, a 46-year-old woman posted a video of herself on TikTok sharing a tearful story about her impending surgery and how much it has brought the pain she feels about being single into focus. Her problem? She has no one to take care of her but her mother and…Singles8 min readSingles8 min read
22 hours agoMember-onlyWhy Women Should Take a Good Offer…but Keep Looking for a Better OneWhether in work or love, it’s time for us to look out for ourselves — After being laid off in the “Great Tech Downsize” of 2022’s Q4, my friend Sunny found herself a new job six weeks later. Things looked dicey for a moment. That job was her first time breaking the six-figure salary mark and she didn’t know how long she could go without…Feminism5 min readFeminism5 min read
2 days agoMember-onlyWhat It Feels Like to Age Out of OvulationOur relationship with time changes when we no longer have eggs to mark its passing — Eighteen months ago, I wrote the following on my list of ideas for things to write about: falling in love with my body during ovulation. I waited until the time was right to sit down and work on it. Fortunately (or unfortunately), this is how I write. I have to…Feminism6 min readFeminism6 min read
6 days agoMember-onlyWhy My Sexual Fantasies Feature Lovemaking with Mountains, Not MenSometimes, healing takes you to unusual places — Do you want to know a secret? I haven’t had a sexual fantasy about a man in at least eight months. That’s right, this pansexual, lustful middle-aged woman who always loved indulging in saucy daydreams about perky penises (yes, sometimes more than one), hasn’t imagined having sex with a man…Sexuality6 min readSexuality6 min read
Jan 18Member-onlyWhy No One Has Less Sexual Freedom Than Heterosexual MenMen might have more privilege, but they aren’t free in the bedroom — Like many women, my sexual experiences were awful for the entire decade of my twenties. If I had an orgasm, it was because I made it happen — not because I had a thoughtful lover who cared about my pleasure. And the only way I could make that happen was…Sexuality7 min readSexuality7 min read
Jan 16Member-onlyRape Isn’t Hiding in an Alley — It’s Right in Front of UsRape is so much more than what we’ve been taught — CW: rape/sexual trauma Rape. It’s one of the scariest words I know. Maybe the scariest. There’s something about its very sound that is dissonant and ugly. Its aggressively monosyllabic presence. Its long vowel ending with a hard consonant. It makes me go cold inside. I came to know this word…Feminism9 min readFeminism9 min read
Jan 11Member-onlyAre We Sleeping Through Life?What will it take to wake us up? — “Hey!” I yelled. “Watch out!” I don’t usually have such outbursts, but imminent danger inspires such things. And that’s exactly what I was facing in that moment — a car in the grocery store parking lot that suddenly started backing out of its spot just as I was passing behind…Life Lessons6 min readLife Lessons6 min read
Jan 9Member-onlyHow I Ended Up with No Children, and Mothering EveryoneAnd why I can’t do it anymore, even though I wanted to be a mom — I’ve been having the strangest feelings over the past few months. I long to get a new dog or perhaps a rabbit — something fuzzy and warm who will cuddle with me. I miss that. I miss my dog who was by my side for 12 years. I miss his…Motherhood7 min readMotherhood7 min read
Jan 6Member-onlyWhy I Gave Myself an Engagement RingSometimes you have to take matters into your own hands — “Come with me,” my boyfriend said, suddenly grabbing my hand. “I want you to see something.” I was confused for a moment as he pulled me through the door of a fancy jewelry shop in the middle of our downtown stroll. What on earth was on his mind? Suddenly, everything…Feminism8 min readFeminism8 min read
Jan 4Member-onlyWhy Does Sex Have to Be Meaningless?Apparently, the dating scene of middle age is no different than college — I had so much patience in college. Honestly, I look back and am so proud of myself for the level of patience and fortitude I had. One boyfriend dumped me because, as it turned out, he was using me to cheat on his girlfriend in order to hurt her after…Feminism8 min readFeminism8 min read
