A month out, how do I plan for something I’m not looking forward to? — I hate my birthday. Though not for the usual reasons. I’ve always been excited to age. I was mostly thrilled when my 40th birthday came along, except for the fact that I was two years out from being left for a younger woman by the man I thought I would…

It’s not just the harassment — it’s the time it takes to clean it all up — My thumb is tired for the first time since I learned how to type. Every day for the past several weeks, I’ve had to spend way too much time deleting hateful comments — whether they were hateful to me or to another marginalized demographic — and blocking the people who…

We can’t keep pretending that this fate is (allegedly) reserved for women without children — “This isn’t how I thought the end of my life would go,” my father said, recently. I share his sentiment, but can only imagine his emotional distress. My father had a stroke in 2010 that left him partially paralyzed. In subsequent years, he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s and his eyesight…

It’s time for the fairy tale to die — Step right up, step right up! We’ve got just the cure for your ailments! We’ve got the scratch for your itch! So unhappy, little lady, so unhappy! You’ve felt so alone. So sad. The world feels like a lonely place. And nothing you do ever feels like it’s going to…

A feminist manifesto — *This is an essay about gender roles and institutional sexism that uses generalizations to make a point. If you find this upsetting, please protect your mental health by choosing not to read it. I’m sorry but we can’t do it anymore. We cannot toe this line. We cannot jump through…

When everything and nothing feels like a miracle — Trigger warning: Medical trauma, mental health, suicidal thoughts, miscarriage, abortion Do you believe in God? Please forgive the personal question. I usually consider inquiries about people’s spiritual beliefs to be as inappropriate as asking them about their sex lives or who they voted for. But I can’t help but ask…

If men can choose work over parenthood, why can’t women? — “When you die, you won’t care about the work you did. But you will regret not having children. Family is everything.” Have you heard that one? It seems to be making the rounds on social media, lately. Again. And they’re not talking to men. Yes, sometimes that comment is specifically…

An essay about family, love…and heart surgery — “His heart is very complicated.” I overhear this from my nieces’ bedroom where I’m sitting with the two girls and the young child in question, the one with the “very complicated” heart. My sister and brother-in-law are on a medical conference call downstairs going over the details of Alex’s upcoming…

A poem & a prayer — This is what it feels like, I think to love a child. This sticky, gossamer web that ties us together. This line from here to there with each of us at the other end. It is chemical, it is feral, it is primal. I held you in my arms and fed…