About Yael Wolfe

Or at least I’m trying to be…

Copyright Yael Wolfe

Hello and welcome to my magical little forest. I’m so glad to have you join me.

About Me

My name is Yael and in my forties, I’m finally trying to unearth the wild wolf that lives within me. Like a good little girl, I hid her away most of my life, trying so hard to follow conventional paths.

But those efforts got me nowhere. Just before I turned 40, the man that I thought was my life partner left me for a woman half my age. My entire world crumbled in just one moment.

Though many people might consider that a terrible…

Can you just be with me?

Photo by Pablo Nidam on Scopio

I have nothing in the well right now. I don’t know how to be or feel sexual. It feels too scary. Too vulnerable.

I want to be able to spin my sexy words and whisper them into your ear.

I want to be able to fall heavily and completely into my body so that I can melt around you, into you. I need to tether myself to the earth so that the ecstasy of touching you won’t cause me to skitter away into the clouds, like a balloon that blew out of someone’s grasp.

I want to be able to…

You can bestow the gift of motherly love onto the world whether you have children or not

Photo by August de Richelieu from Pexels

“Remember that time you took me and Anne hiking? And we decided to pick up Frankie on the way? And you let me walk your dog as we went down the trail and Frankie kept saying curse words and you kept yelling, ‘Frankie, language!’”

I was talking on the phone to my mentee, Jayne. When I was 27, I became a mentor through a local program that matched adults and teens. I had been matched with 11-year-old Anne first. Then I met 11-year-old Frankie at a school where I was completing my practicum for my teaching degree and took him…

Listen to your inner guidance, instead — it will tell you what to do

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I’m just going to be honest right now and say that this is one of the hardest articles about sex I’ve written. I don’t think I could feel much less sexual than I do right now, but deadlines and jobs don’t care about our sexual embodiment. So I’m going to use my cold, smothered loins as fodder for this article, because I truly believe a writer should be able to use anything — even the worst of circumstances — as inspiration.

What’s going on that has caused this issue?

It’s not that I have no sexual desire (that’s pretty rare), but that I have very low sexual energy…

If you’ve made an effort to fix things and are still miserable, then it’s time to move on

Photo by Julia Florczak on Unsplash

My half-brother Ethan has been struggling in his marriage for over five years now. He and his wife had a discussion about divorce when their troubles began, and opted, instead, to go to counseling. After five years of continued struggling, Ethan reconnected with an old friend, fell in love, and finally decided to move out and begin seriously pursuing divorce proceedings.

Even though the divorce was initially (all those years ago) his wife’s suggestion, she is no longer amenable to that course of action. …

Comfort for when life feels like one endless broken heart…

Photo by Kat Jayne from Pexels

Dear sisters,

Do you ever think back to your childhood? To those days when you ran out to the playground, trying to beat your male classmates, because you so badly wanted to be like them, a wild, ferocious creature? When you hung upside-down from the monkey bars, letting your skirt flip up and reveal your panties because you wanted to look like a princess when you woke up that morning (hence, the skirt) but hell if you were going to let rules about “being a lady” dictate your ability to let loose and have fun.

There was a lot of laughing in…

I will gladly succumb to it all — except for this harmful belief…

Photo by Andrii Omelnytskyi on Scopio

Falling in love is a hardcore drug. I often recall one of the most intense experiences I had falling in love. I was in my early thirties and hadn’t seriously dated in a few years. In fact, I think it’s safe to say, by that point, I was pretty sure I would never fall in love — or rather that no one would ever love me. So when it dropped into my lap, I was pretty surprised.

It took months for things to really start. I knew I was ready to hit the ground running in May, when our attraction…

Don’t ask us to open our hearts unless you are ready to be invited inside

Photo by Cosmic Timetraveler on Unsplash

It’s a sacred thing to awaken a woman’s desire. And maybe even more so, her love.

This is especially true when a woman is in middle age. When there is no doubt that she has been discarded for younger women, when she has been ignored as a sexual being, when she has had her trust broken by men more times than she can count.

To awaken her desire is a gift. And to coax open her heart, to inspire and receive her love…this is a sacred thing.

Did you know that? …

The good girl in me needs to go

Photo by Daria Mialtu on Scopio

What if I decided to keep sex and love in two different boxes? What if I only leaned on men for friendship or fucking? Nothing in between.

Maybe I could write a new profile on the dating apps. Seeking sex and nothing else. Booty calls only. (And I’ll be the one doing the calling.)

I wonder how many responses I would get. Would guys be lining up, boxes of condoms in hand? Or would they left swipe me with a scowl? What a slut… I wonder if she’s good at blow jobs…

Surely someone would bite, though. We could go…

Or is this another excuse to pass judgment on ourselves and others?

Photo by Gemma Chua-Tran on Unsplash

“Well, we don’t have the greatest track record with romance, do we?”

In my 40s, this has come to be one of the great bonding statements my single or sort-of-single friends toss about with me. I know the intention is to cultivate a sense of camaraderie, to emphasize that we understand one another, to reassure that we are not alone in this.

Sometimes, it comes with even stronger descriptions: we failed at relationships, for instance, or thank god no one asks us for advice in love because we’re the last people who should be giving it.

As much as I…

Yael Wolfe

I just want to be a big, bad wolf. | Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/gleDcD | Email: welcome@yaelwolfe.com

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