After the age of 22, I started only seeing female doctors. With one exception, they have ALL had this conversation with me. Four years ago, I’ll never forget, I had one who did an exam on me and when she got to my right breast, she gasped and said, “Oh my god, oh my god.” I freaked out and sat up and she said, “I don’t know what to say, but we’ve got a major problem here,” or something like that and I started panicking as she moved my hand to my breast and showed me what she was feeling. It was my “flattened hot dog lump” and I stared at her, so pissed. I said, “I’ve had that since I was 19. It’s not a giant tumor.” And she said, “Oh, well, I guess I overreacted.”

WHAT THE F?! I have never had a doctor do anything like that in my life and I was stunned that she was so dramatic and fatalistic. I never went back there again.