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All the Questions About Penises I Never Got to Ask
It’s not always welcome to open these conversations in the bedroom
I need to ask something that I’m probably not supposed to ask. I can’t help myself. I’ve remained in the dark for almost 46 years now. Surely I’ve waited long enough? Bit my tongue for the appropriate amount of years?
Okay, brace yourselves, because here it comes.
Why are men so rough with their dicks?
Every lover I’ve ever had has touched themselves like they were trying to overpower the grip of a giant squid’s tentacle. The amount of speed and friction they used seemed to mimic that of a desperate man lost in the woods trying one last time to start a fire with a stick before nightfall. And with a grip reminiscent of a taffy puller.
I’ve worried that it might fall off. Sure, I don’t have a penis, so I have no clue how those things manage to stay attached considering all the tugging they endure. But really, there is no greater show of engineering genius than watching those things take the kind of beating that comes with a solo session and still remain attached and in tact.
I’ve internally cringed in dismay, wondering if they expect my vagina to be able to match that tight of a grip or the fierceness of that rhythm. (Yeah…
