Hi Roy!

I think vanilla sex is amazing, too. ;) I only included that one because I always use it to describe MY sex life and it always feels like an insult or an apology — like some part of me feels self-conscious that I’m not going to orgies or things like that. LOL.

Also, full disclosure, this article is a first draft, which I NEVER post — I always go through my articles multiple times before publishing to make sure I expressed my ideas in a way that’s accepting of other people, but I’ve been dealing with some serious family problems and I didn’t have time to double check this piece.

I meant to add that I can see the allure of “I’m gonna make you come.” For me, it’s just an issue I have from my past experiences of feeling controlled and forced. But I totally get how hot that phrase can be in the right context with the right person. A “sexy surrender” as you said. I hope my article didn’t come off as judgmental of that phrase.

Thank you so much, as always, for reading!