I am so stunned by how many men seem to have missed the point of this essay. Yes, relationships are hard for everyone (and there’s more to talk about on that subject at another time, in another essay), but I’m talking about the systemic violence and power imbalance present in heterosexual relationships that specifically disempower and sometimes abuse the women in them. I’m sorry you have had a hard time in relationships, but how many of your partners raped you? And did you feel like you needed to have a wife because the women of the world have assaulted you so many times that you felt you needed a woman to protect you from the rest of them???