I can relate to this so much. And before I go on, I want to be clear that I'm not comparing my past relationship to yours in any way.

My ex and his entire family were extreme conservatives. They were alt-right, though I didn't know that term at the time. Conspiracy theories. Hatred of women in the government for no reason other than that they were women. "Liberals are coming for our guns." Etc. Every single visit with them ended with tears and rage.

In my case, my boyfriend believed in all that stuff and idolized his misogynistic father. He wanted to become just like him. I often feel such gratitude that he ran off with that young girl because we never would've survived the Trump administration. He would've been insufferable, with all that has been normalized by this administration. And no doubt taking his assault rifles to all the protests around the state. I am so lucky to be rid of that.

Again, this is NOT a comparison to your relationship. I have no doubt it is very different. At least your husband doesn't want to be like that. That's a good sign!