I didn't mean that article as a criticism, at all. I want to explore why taking a man's name is still the default in America and the U.K.

It's a complicated issue, as I wrote about in the article, and often the least complicated route is to take his name. But again, I want to explore the why behind that. It makes sense because our culture is created so that everything revolves around men, and therefore, defaulting to men is the easier choice. I don't mean that as a moral judgment - again, I'm just exploring why that is and wondering aloud how we can rewrite the world so that it's NOT simpler and easier to take the roads that center and default on/around men.

I don't judge women who take on their husband's names. (Though I do bristle when they insist on being called by his last AND first name, as in Mrs. John Smith, or when they get mad at being called Ms. by someone who doesn't know they're married. But that's MY bad feminism showing. LOL.)

I think the last thing any of us want is for other women (feminists or not) to feel guilty about the choices they make. Or to feel social pressure about how they conduct themselves as married women or as mothers or whatever. That's certainly not what I want for you or anyone else.

Again, as I said in the article, if you want to be Mrs. Elsa "Smith" (or whatever), I'm 100% behind you. I don't think that makes a woman a bad feminist, at all. And I'm the LAST person who would calling anyone a bad feminist. I have my own life to judge and clean up.