I Hate My Birthday…But Not for the Reason You Might Think
A month out, how do I plan for something I’m not looking forward to?
I hate my birthday. Though not for the usual reasons.
I’ve always been excited to age. I was mostly thrilled when my 40th birthday came along, except for the fact that I was two years out from being left for a younger woman by the man I thought I would marry. Hitting 40 in the wake of that wasn’t easy. But for the most part, I looked forward to a decade of life that many of my friends called the most freeing years they’d ever experienced.
I’ll be 47 this year. Admittedly, I’m not nearly as thrilled about reaching 50 as I was about hitting 40. I truly believed I would meet a life partner and get to have my family during this decade and yet again, I found that my dream of partnership is out of reach. Further, my hope of becoming a mother is fully extinguished.
That said, I’m not dreading my birthday because I’m afraid of getting older. I’m not worried about the march to 50. I’d rather be alive, after all, which means getting older. I can handle processing the disappointments of life if that means I still get to be alive.
No, I dread my birthday for another reason, entirely.
My birthday is exactly a month away. I was born on July 2, 1976. And that’s why I hate my birthday.
The second day of July is part of the Independence Day holiday weekend. And I know what you’re thinking: How fabulous! Who wouldn’t want a birthday on a holiday weekend?
I have friends who were born on January 16th and 17th, or on February 19th or 20th. Sure, when your birthday falls on a quiet federal holiday when no one has to show up to work, it’s a great deal.
But when your birthday is adjacent to a major holiday — like Thanksgiving or Christmas — it’s not as much fun as it looks. The whole “birthday thing” tends to get overlooked in all the holiday hoopla.
And when the holiday in question is literally the most popular vacation weekend of the year, (and the loudest)…well, good luck celebrating your special day.
You see, my entire adult life, all my friends have always been on vacation during…