I meant to say to you earlier that your comment on your sexuality being "destabilizing" was fascinating. To be not in service of your husband, but including him in your sexual evolution and explorations could, I imagine, feel very threatening.

And as I'm writing this, I wonder if that plays another part in this - I'm single! I'm "available." I'm a "possibility." There's a vulnerability there and potential and space to fill. Meanwhile, you are not just taken but you have many venues of sexual partnership, which means no possibility, no potential, no availability. Therefore, men might not feel like there's any point in sugarcoating anything with you...

Just thinking out loud!