I think I understand what you mean a little more, though I don't know much about FASD, in general, other than what you are describing here. I think super blatant communication and requests for the same are helpful even in the absence of FASD. We've gone too long in silence and assumptions, so honestly, I think you're in the perfect spot to lead the way in this journey.

I think we're so messed up about consent that we genuinely can no longer rely on social cues - we absolutely must start working on explicit verbal communication until we have made serious strides in understanding the dynamics of consent.

I hope you find what you are looking for. I think there is a lot more possibility and opportunity out there than you might be seeing at the moment! <3