I think it's very easy to slap a label on things and reduce them down to their simplest form. Like "affair." But what you are talking about here are three very different sets of circumstances that only have that one qualifier in common and really nothing else.

I can't speak to what your mom's relationship was or your previous affair, but in this one...shit happens when you fall in love. Life is messy. There aren't easy answers.

At least you know the most important thing here: You can't judge a person as good or bad based on one (or even multiple) mistakes they have made. We are too complex for that to be accurate. <3