I think sometimes girlfriends, while hopefully well-meaning, often say really harmful things. Lots of women are very entrenched on cultural norms around relationships and when someone like us comes along and doesn't fit the so-called norms, they will try to explain it all to us in ways that can be very diminishing to our experience. And false. For instance: I'm not sure I believe in "attracting the wrong kind of man." That's an incredibly damaging belief to internalize. Maybe we are just still learning to see our own worth, to ask for more, to figure out EXACTLY what we want. But I won't say or let anyone else say that I attract the wrong kind of guy. Screw that!

Yes. In the end, it's gaslighting. I don't think it's deliberate, most of the time, but gaslighting it is. Know that, throw it away, push back, and keep going. <3