I think there are a lot of polite actions and gestures that can overlap with chivalry — the only way to differentiate the two is intention, I think. And I think (just my opinion) that the whole “man as provider” thing is a product of patriarchal social conditioning that can do damage to men who might feel a lot of pressure to maintain that provider status which is incredibly isolating and stressful. And definitely the rules are changing! (Thank goodness!)