I wish I could give this 1,000 claps. It's pure f-ing genius.

I had a male reader email me last summer and we had some uncomfortable discussions in which he confessed to me that he fantasized about me. I was very naive about the situation and instead of walking away, I explained (I feel so stupid saying this now) that it's fine if he fantasizes but I do not need to know about it. Go be sex positive, but do it appropriately. He was married and I tried to explain my boundaries and thought everything was fine.

Later that night, he emailed me again and told me he was alone in the house and it was dark and his wife was out of town and he was thinking about me and wanted to support my work and felt so excited about what I was doing... "And then," he wrote, "I slide my hand into my pants."

Honest to god, I still think of that and feel chilled. It was SO DISGUSTING, particularly since we had just talked about boundaries earlier that day. I don't know if it is because I have a history with sexual assault or what, but that situation felt traumatizing to me and it still shakes me when the memory arises.

Thank you for writing this. I think we need to take this stuff far more seriously. xoxo