If a man is unsatisfied with his sex life, he can absolutely ask to renegotiate the terms of the relationship. The second option is for him to leave, not for him to rationalize raping his wife through coercion and entitlement. Forcing a woman to have sex with a man when she doesn’t want to — married or not — is rape.

I can’t remember everyone who comments on my essays, but I’m pretty sure we’ve had this conversation before and you’re fighting a losing battle. Rape is rape. It’s never okay.