I’m not sure I understand what you mean. If I’m correct about what you’re asking, I’m saying that because I’m childless (having nothing to do with the label — just that I do not have children), people assume that I have never been pregnant and that I never wanted children. There are a lot of assumptions, as you probably have experienced.

Calling myself childless isn’t about the pregnancy, but about the fact that it helps me define my story, and that I HAVE a story. I wanted it. I had a pregnancy. Things didn’t work out.

To call myself childfree implies (to me) that I didn’t want kids. There are enough assumptions being made about me and my life or other childless/childfree women and their lives — I don’t want people making MORE assumptions because of my choice of labels.

That doesn’t mean I think everyone who wanted kids but didn’t/couldn’t have them should call themselves childless. That’s a totally personal decision. I 100% understand what you mean about embracing the “-free” due to the freedom you feel not having those responsibilities. That’s a very real feeling that I completely understand. Admittedly, I might assume that the label “childfree” meant you didn’t want kids and chose this path — only because many women (myself included) are very particular about their word choice. However, I know there’s a story behind every one of these labels and I try to be very careful about what I assume about other women.

Is that what you meant?