It has not been my experience that men have a high level of awareness around the boundaries and landscape of sexual misconduct. I don’t say that to imply all men commit sexual misconduct, of course, but to acknowledge that we live in a patriarchy that teaches men to objectify women, does not teach about consent, and conditions men to believe that sexual conquest is the most important way they can demonstrate true masculinity.

Also, grooming is also a word used to describe abuse dynamics between adults — you can look it up, as I did. I don’t make shit up just because I’m a woman, nor would I purposefully spread misinformation or misandry, and I believe three and a half years of my essays and articles have proven that.

If you read this again, you might see that I’m not talking about the cheesy lines or tricks that a guy pulls out on a first date (which to be fair, is still not okay). I’m talking about strategic methods of abuse — again, google it. “Lovebombing.” “Adult to adult grooming in abuse dynamics.” “Dopamine manipulation in dating.” You will find lots of articles about this.

And next time you want to make accusations of intellectual dishonesty, read what I said more carefully. I never said this was criminal behavior. But it is abuse and sexual misconduct.