Michael Beswick I get what you’re saying — I can go down a rabbit hole thinking too much around fantasies and what they mean “in real life,” if they bleed into me as a real person, blah blah blah. :) And I get the discomfort with female submission in BDSM fantasies — I have that, too, though I don’t necessarily think it’s dangerous or wrong. It’s just not something I’m comfortable with (same for you, I gather).

An earlier partner of mine had tons of rape fantasies which absolutely freaked me out. We did not last long together. Again, that was outside my comfort zone. And yet, I know there are women who have rape fantasies, and that doesn’t bother me — because they CHOSE it, you know? And in a man’s rape fantasy, the woman is truly the object, not choosing to be an object. But again…it’s all just fantasy.

Ultimately, I think most of it doesn’t matter and we shouldn’t label or judge ourselves or each other.

Thank you, as always, for your comment!