Obviously, I love this. LOL. It’s amazing, beautiful, honest, and vulnerable.

I came to this place by circumstance. I always thought I would have kids. I wanted kids terribly in my twenties and thirties. I think I would’ve made a good mom, though, like you, I worried intensely about passing on cycles of abuse.

I ended up with a man who didn’t want kids for a long time and when he decided he was ready, he wanted to do it with another woman. By then, I was almost 40 and just…kinda dumbfounded.

I chose to focus on healing the past few years (I’m 43 now) and see what happens. I don’t see myself trying to get pregnant at this age. I’m not even sure I want to adopt anymore. Though I don’t want to say an absolute NO to anything — not after living almost a decade in “wait and see” mode with my ex. I’m over-correcting by clutching madly at all my options. ;)

But there comes a lot of emotional work with this transition in my life, as I’m starting perimenopause and saying goodbye to the possibility of being a mom. And I know a lot of other women in my position who want to TALK about this. And also the women who DID choose to not have children and who also want to talk about it. And where is our safe space for that? Where is the conversation happening, because it seems so damn quiet out there.

I’m so grateful for people like you who are speaking up about it and sharing your story. THAT’S what we need. More of our stories, no matter how we got here. It matters.

Thank you. ❤