Oh Carol, this is so sweet. I honestly don’t think I realized how hard it hit me. Obviously, I know how much I talk about it in therapy (almost every session, which blows my mind), but I didn’t realize until this summer how bad it was. How depressed I was last summer. How lost I felt. How afraid I’ve been of him in the year since.

I think I always held out that he would reach out at some point and apologize and tell me he never meant to hurt me and it was just all a big mistake. But he never did. I think the year anniversary of his last correspondence hit me pretty hard a few weeks ago and since then, I have been unraveling all this.

I’m getting better, though. I’m starting to come out of it. But my heart is forever altered. I haven’t felt romantic love or attraction since he left and I don’t think I ever will. I know now those feelings are dangerous and I will never let that happen to me again.

Love you. xoxo