Pastor Graham Yes, it is hard to revisit this time in my life, and yet, it is ALWAYS just beneath the surface. This piece was originally almost 3,000 words long and I cut out SO MUCH to keep it to a readable length. There’s more — so much more I wanted to say.

And to be honest, though I agree cultural complicity is a factor in their behavior…I also believe they knew they doing something wrong. As much as I debate the fact that they were kids, too, and no one told them it was wrong…they knew. I don’t think that level of sexual aggression is normal, though again…it is, even today, considered acceptable behavior by many.

Thirty years later, I’m still working through my feelings about it, as you can see! And trying to undo the damage it did. It all starts, though, with telling my story and defining what happened in an ACCURATE way. Not “Boys will be boys,” or “You’re overreacting,” but identifying that it was harassment and assault and a traumatic experience that shouldn’t have happened. That’s the story EVERYONE should have been telling at the time.