The suggestion that all women should get together and vote on something, that we should all have the same position on something, that we should all be the same, is troubling to me.

A man who knew me well enough to want to marry me would know that I don’t feel comfortable with him going to my father before asking to marry me. There would be no uncertainty on his part of how he should proceed. This is not information I’m hiding from lovers — I show them who I am right away. Kindly.

And if a man I DON’T know were to, say, open a door for me, I’d smile, genuinely, and thank him, warmly. If there was a second, inner door, I’d open it for HIM, not because I don’t appreciate his act of chivalry, but because I want him to feel taken care of, too.

We’re all different and have different feelings about how we want to be treated by men. That’s okay. We’re not here to fuck with you all — we’re just individuals, just like men get to be.

Your boss was not a kind or honest person, from what you shared. I’m sorry that happened to you. But that’s on HER. That’s not a problem all women need to get together and vote on in order to solve. Not all women are like that, and those who are aren’t worth your time.