This is freaking epic, as always. I am still haunted to this day by the whispers I heard at my uncle's funeral. People said, "Thank god it was him, and not his brother or sister. God spared the ones who had children who would've been devastated by the loss."

Yes, my uncle was not married and didn't have children. His sister (my mother) and brother were married and did have children. But I remember being so puzzled because my uncle was beloved by his nieces and nephews. We adored him. Losing him was one of the worst experiences of my entire life.

And secondly, the implication that God had chosen him because he was somehow less important haunted me. Would a creator do that? Reach down and pluck up the childless because they weren't important? My uncle was only 49. I remember thinking that I'd better get married and have children so I didn't die young, too.

As you know, I never did get married or have children. And I just had my 47th birthday. I admit, I'm still terrified to this day that I won't see 50, all because people taught me that a god in the sky believes I'm unworthy of life and that my time will come soon, just like my uncle's. What a horrific bias to poison people with.