This made me full-on cry. The timing of it...

I was looking through old emails two nights ago, to delete things I never want to see again from past relationships. After I was done, I did a search for my ex's name, just in case there were any lingering emails there, and I found about 30 from the last months of our separation.

I was dismayed to find that 90% of them were from me, unanswered by him, of me begging him (very kindly and tactfully, which is saying a lot, considering how disgustingly he had treated me at that time) to see me, hear me, care about my feelings. Not trying to get him back, but asking him, "Where is the kind, loving person who was my friend these past 7 seven years? Can't we at least end with that?"

I didn't remember that I had sent so many emails begging him for that. For him to treat me with basic human decency. It was embarrassing.

I also remember the point where I gave up, even though I thought it was wrong, because wouldn't that mean he'd won? But I remember at one point, he lied to my face and again and again, even though I had evidence of the lie, and I felt this sense of calm overwhelm me. I knew he didn't even see me anymore. All he cared about was himself and the stories he was making up. I knew I had to just walk away and stop and whether he "won" or "got away with it" or not became irrelevant. I just wanted to be away from someone who clearly had zero respect for me.

Anyways...this all came up for me again as I read this and hit me right in the heart.