Well, let’s remember that the kind of situation you’re talking about is men making a mistake and how important it is not to use shame as a consequence. But this situation is about a man who is vocally pro-rape and is currently being held on sex trafficking charges. I couldn’t care less about Tate getting shamed. As far as I can see, he is a monster. I’m not saying I’m know what the right answer is or that I’m pro-shaming in general, but I don’t want the point to be lost here. Which means it’s important to remember that Tate is not just a man who made a mistake or behaved badly. He enacts violence upon women every time he posts a tweet.

I don’t disagree with your points (except that women must take on the emotional labor of supporting men through this process — that’s a complicated subject and ultimately, it’s up to each woman to decide how she wants to show up for the healing of the world, because we shouldn’t be responsible for cleaning up the mess of the patriarchy). But again, it’s important to note that you’re talking about very average, general circumstances, which does not apply to men like Tate. I am not here defending him or saying we need to be gentle with him. I’m simply saying that the patriarchy’s ideals of masculinity are 100% anti-femme, which means using those standards as weapons against monsters like Tate, in my view, will ultimately only edify our own oppression.