What Happens When a Woman Pursues Career Over Motherhood — Will She Really Regret It?

If men can choose work over parenthood, why can’t women?

Photo by LinkedIn Sales Solutions on Unsplash

“When you die, you won’t care about the work you did. But you will regret not having children. Family is everything.”

Have you heard that one? It seems to be making the rounds on social media, lately. Again.

And they’re not talking to men. Yes, sometimes that comment is specifically meant for men, particularly those who are chasing money and status. (Didn’t they make a movie about that?) But most of the time I see this warning, it is specifically targeted to women. Women in the workforce. Women who are childfree. Women who aren’t following the status quo.

Don’t get caught up in a career, ladies. It’s against nature. One day, you will realize that none of it mattered and the only thing that has value for a woman is becoming a mother. That’s the career you should be chasing!

And listen, motherhood is a beautiful, worthy pursuit. It is a job. It is a career. It can be an exciting and fulfilling way to experience our bodies and hearts.

But will a woman who pursues a career she loves instead of motherhood really regret it one day because it “doesn’t really matter?” It doesn’t really matter?

There’s a reason I brought up the specific way we target men with this particular brand of fear-mongering. Oops, I meant, well-meaning (though unsolicited) advice.

When we talk about men missing out on family time and having regrets later in life, we’re usually talking about the kind of men who get caught up in the corporate rat race. Maybe they want the power of getting into the C-suite. Maybe they want the sports cars and the vacation home in Italy.

But the point that people seem to be making when they caution men about spending more time closing deals than playing catch with their kids is the simple truth that one might find the acquisition of material things to bring little joy in later life, whereas family relationships cultivated through decades of a loving, consistent presence will likely result in more overall contentment.