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Why He Stayed for Years Even Though He Hated You
I wish someone had told me this before I started dating men
“I can’t wait to grow up and get married,” one of my nieces said to me a few months ago.
I paused for a moment, a million thoughts going through my head. For instance, I knew she was specifically talking about getting married to a man. I knew she’d watched enough Disney movies that the thought of having a husband sounded like the ultimate dream come true. And I know that she just happens to be growing up in a time when open misogyny has become trendy again.
I often find myself fretting about how I should talk about romantic love with my nieces, just the same way that I used to fret about what I’d say as a mother, if I had been blessed with a daughter. I want to be a safe space for the little girls I love, a source of wisdom, offering an honest perspective but with as much optimism as possible.
There’s no way to know what kind of experiences they will have and I don’t want to unnecessarily influence them or their decisions by giving them too much information about my damaging experiences with romantic love.
But I also would feel that I’ve failed them if I gloss over the realities of dating men in a patriarchal society. I’m not going to let them get roofied just…
