You know, I’m getting to a point in my life where I don’t mind it as much. I mean, yes, I will keep talking about it because I think it’s harmful, in general, but I see some of these women in their twenties and early thirties, and they are just doing what our culture told them to do to be worthy humans, you know? They don’t know it’s a lie, yet. And I don’t mean that motherhood isn’t important or worthwhile, of course — I WANT them to celebrate their role. I just think they don’t understand that doing it at the expense of others is so harmful. I think they’re still under the spell and one day, their kids will turn into challenging teenagers and they’ll probably start to wonder if maybe this gig was oversold to them. ;) And that we’re all in this together.

That said, I was SHOCKED that she compared aunts and mothers. I kinda get it — she is like me. She was a very hands-on and invested aunt before she had kids, just like I am. So I know she put a lot of her identity into that role, as I do. But I don’t know what it accomplishes to compare the two roles. I’m sure she, like I, never compared herself to a mother when she was not yet one and only an aunt. I never do that. I know what I am, who I am to those kids, what my value to them is. I know I’m not their mother, nor do I hold a place in their lives at that level.

But I also know I matter as an aunt. And I love being an aunt. And I honestly think the world would be a better place with lots of loving aunties who don’t have kids! :) And like you said, we don’t have to be stepping stones on the way to motherhood. And we’re…well, oranges! And as you pointed out, oranges are just as wonderful, though very different, as apples.

Thanks for this compassionate comment. xoxo