A woman free from the status quo

You know that one weird kid at school, the one who often ate lunch alone and always had their head buried in a book? That was me. I was that kid.

I didn’t mind it much. I often preferred the amusement I found in my imagination over the pressure to conform to social norms.

Regardless, it was still hard to be on the outside.

I don’t know why I thought adulthood would be any different. I imagined myself one day joining my peers in marriage and motherhood, never again to feel like I didn’t belong.

But that’s not what happened, at all.

I never found a suitable partner. I never had the chance to experience motherhood. I spent most of my adult life feeling much the same as I had as a child: someone on the outside, looking in.

Now in middle age, I’ve figured something out. Being the outsider, the one who was too different to belong, gave me an advantage I never dreamed of.

I see life differently.

When you’re a part of the “in crowd,” when you are committed to the status quo, you have no choice but to accept everything exactly the way it’s handed to you. How you act in the world as a woman. How you dress. What you weigh. What you eat. Who you marry.

Even how you see yourself.

Being on the outside, I get to explore. Ask the unaskable questions. Challenge the narratives and instructions I’ve been handed, the ones I was told were “truth.”

This exploration is the foundation of my writing, and I believe why so many find it invigorating, revelatory, and sometimes challenging.

Now I’m so glad I never felt like I fit in. Being different is one of my greatest strengths - and greatest blessings.

Where You Can Find More of Me

My Website

You’ll find additional information, products, and other treats at ylwolfe.com.

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